Marriage is a life-long commitment that outlasts the blissful honeymoon phase that characterizes every new relationship. It’s more than just love and passion for your partner.
There are a lot of factors that come into play when you settle down in marriage that you might have not prepared for if your decision to settle down was driven by emotions and nothing else. While love and passion are still important ingredients in making a marriage work, you need to move beyond the emotional conversations if your union is to last long.
There are important questions you must ask of your partner before you settle down, however awkward and unnerving they are. They could indicate whether you and your share the same values, visions and are a good match for each other.
Here are important conversations you must have before getting married.
The money talk
Initiating a conversation about money is difficult but one which you must have anyway given that money is among the leading causes of divorce.
You should be candid about your financial status; your income, debts, expenses and other financial obligations. This is important in planning your future together. You don’t want a scenario where one partner puts a lot of pressure on the other because they are in the dark about their finances.
The conversations should also extend to how the household expenses will be handled. This is the time to decide whether you will be splitting expenses as everyone retains control over their earnings or if you should have a joint account.
Before rushing to buy the Bed Sets For Couples, you should have discussion on your views on parenting. That’s even jumping the gun – you should first discuss if you both want children.
Many couples rush into marriage only to discover that one party wants kids while the other do not. Inevitably this cause a lot of friction amongst them. So talking about this before tying the knot could save you a lot of heartbreak.
If you both want kids, agree on the number of children before discussing your views on parenting. You should have a common approach on how to raise your children.
Intimacy is equally important in a marriage. You don’t want to get into a sexless marriage in the hope that things will get better. If you are having intimacy issues in your relationship for one reason or another, address it before you settle down.
Lack of intimacy leads to resentment which will bring your marriage faster than you can pronounce ‘I do.’ So check into therapy if you need to and solve your intimacy issues before settling down.
Of course you both come from different families who love and care for you. While they are looking out for you, they shouldn’t interfere with your relationship.
You must discuss the levels of involvement of your respective families in your marriage. In-laws can bring your marriage down. You don’t every minor issue escalating to your families. Learn to solve your relationship problems on your own without involving your parents unless there is justifiable need to.