Reaches kindergarten or summer camp Parents, uncles and grandparents surprised with a question: “Do you like a playmate ?” Two specialists help us manage the situation without over stimulating the boys or invade their private space.
What does it mean when our little boy says she has a boyfriend ? Do children really love?
“It is normal for a small child says she has a boyfriend / a. It is part of the process of socializing and copy what they hear from the great and what they read in stories. This means the first election processes the object of love that in rudimentary form will help children to choose their tastes by someone else and, while they are playing great, “replies the lawyer Silvia Naya, child physiologist.
So we are not facing a “love” as an adult live, but compared to share and experience empathy with a partner. “Is it based on an emotional game, that is, in the affection that the child feels against your partner of the opposite sex with the most toys, sports and spending more time. It’s a dyed innocent relationship and fantasies based on the discovery the other person of the same age, their par “says the Yamila Ger, Center for Cognitive Psychology Parchment.
Is it wrong that adults we stimulate? Many times parents, uncles or grandparents asked the children: do you like a playmate / a? Is it an error?
“Adults should not stimulate with questions or comments this type of infant relationships. Many times we can force them to handle difficult situations for themselves,” warns Yamila Ger. “Do not be alarmed when the child says she has a boyfriend / a, or also stimulate questions. It is important that the adult does not look ‘hold’ and influence children with this type of scenario, because for them a ‘boyfriend’ is nothing more than a friend who shares affection and play, “he adds.
Also, observe how they react boys: often get angry or red because they do not like to be asked. “This is because they take this concept as something ‘private’ or ‘secret’. We must be respectful and caring of this private space of each boy” recommends Silvia Naya. Furthermore, it may happen that they do not like any companion and feel pressured to give an answer.
The insistence of the adults on the subject, what way can harm children?
“The massive over stimulation within the home and in society can be harmful to infants, primarily for their psychological and emotional immaturity. When the ‘dating’ is the result of this over stimulation becomes detrimental to the child because he himself is not emotionally or physically prepared to handle this situation, “says Ger licensed.
“Children must go through stages of maturation necessary for good psychological health When these steps are not passing on vital time needed a phenomenon quite seen it occurs today. Children with behavior and adult attitudes, but with immaturity own emotional age. There is a mismatch between what they show and what they really are maturational level. In some cases can cause emotional and relational conflicts by the presence of these very early stimuli against which they are not prepared, “the expert.
Helpful Tips for Parents
* Do not be afraid. Understand that is natural and part of the links.
* Avoid falling into the over-compliment. It is important that we respect each stage as an adult for our children traveling. This means no unnecessary and excessive them about things that do not correspond to their chronological age.
* Point out that they are kids. If it is too small, it is important to tell your partner / a is a special friend and you can have a boyfriend when she grows up.
* Always, always, listen to the kids. It is also important to give them the space to talk.
* Give the issue a relevant and not of levity place. For children it is important.
* Help them understand that the big people may ask about this issue.
* If you are not matched / as … Encourage them to what they can talk and help them understand that sometimes happens, but also about other guys who like it and not learn.
Did you spent your son / tell you she has a boyfriend / a? Or that a family member asked if he likes a classmate / a? How did you react in these situations?